Mistress and I recently had a death in our family. Those of you who have been reading for a while may remember the pictures I posted early this year of my lovely pets. Well, one of my sugar gliders has passed on. The female, Sweetheart, is no longer with us. Let me tell you a little about my dear gliders.
DaVinci, my male, is everyone’s favorite. He’s a total goofball. He will run up your leg, climb on top of your head, then glide to another person and run all over them, then glide to a wall and run up it. He just loves to have fun. He’s not aggressive and not the type to bite anyone. He just wants to have fun.
Sweetheart, on the other hand, was a total bitch. She bit people and was anti-social in general. The worst thing about her was that she was a horrible mother. She gave birth to 3 litters of babies (joey’s) during her time with me. She would raise and nurse them until they became a burden, then she would kick them out of the pouch and let them die. That is, if she didn’t kill and eat them outright. Mistress and I managed to save 2 of the joeys before they starved to death and attempted to hand raise them, but they never lasted more than 3 or 4 days. They needed their mother’s milk.
You can, I am sure, see how this relationship relates to the typical human relationship.
Your average guy just wants to go to work, handle business, then goof off. I know I do. When males are left to their own devices, and all the work has been done, we are wont to joke, horseplay, tell jokes, wrestle, drink and have random competitions. We say what’s on our minds, fuck off and have a great time.
This dynamic is ruined when a female shows up. If we don’t ruin it for ourselves, by getting self-conscious and/or cutting each others throats to claim the broad, she will ruin it for us. Women hate to see carefree men having a good time. So…
No Cursing!
No Smoking!
You Drink Too Much!
I Don’t Like Your Friends!
You Guys Are Being Immature!
Sound familiar? I would imagine every man has heard this from a girlfriend/wife at some point in his life. I think it truly pisses a woman off to see men having a great time together instead of chasing them. One thing I have never understood is why men complain if they show up to a bar or a party and it’s a “sausage fest”. I’ve had the most fun drinking around a bonfire with nothing but guys, or shooting pool with a bunch of guy friends. All it takes is an attractive female to show up and all the comraderie and fellowship goes out the window.
This was the case with my sugar gliders. The male just wanted to have fun, she was a total bitch who wanted to rule the roost. And she didn’t want to take care of their children. Well, apparently, DaVinci had enough. We found Sweetheart dead with half her face mangled. Well, actually, Mistress found her. She texted me in a panic. She was mainly freaked out because she thought it was DaVinci, since the face was a little difficult to make out. When she told me DaVinci was dead, I was quite upset. When she found him still alive and well, running in his wheel, and let me know it was Sweetheart who had passed, I found I was not all that upset.
My only real sadness came from DaVinci being without a mate. Sugar gliders are very social creatures, and without regular companionship they will commit suicide by either refusing to eat or biting at themselves until they bleed to death.
On the bright side, this means I can find him a new mate. A mate who will not kill her fucking babies. I have a huge cage full of toys for DaVinci, and I have always wanted to have a little family of gliders. Maybe 6-8 of them. They are adorable critters. So, in closing, here’s a picture of them for those who haven’t been reading for long.
DaVinci and Sweetheart
Now, on to happier news. Though we have lost a member of the family, we have a new addition to compensate. A friend of mine was moving and could not have a dog at his new residence. He asked me to take his puppy, since I have lots of land for him to play on and Mistress doesn’t work so she can spend plenty of time with him. So, without further ado, meet Rango.
Rango the Pit Bull
Rango is only 8 months old but he weighs over 60 lbs and he’s a tough, mean looking bastard. In actuality, he’s a sweetheart and he whines when I’m out of his sight. Mistress pampers him. But anyone who tried to come into my yard would be scared to death of this beast.
That’s it for tonight, folks. Just so everyone knows, I will be posting daily from now on.
-Dr. Illusion
I am a woman, and I’ve been following your blog for a while now. I find your way of thinking absolutely refreshing and completely agree. I hate how most women give women a bad name. I cannot wait for my fiance and I to get past our past “thinking and acting with the mainstream,” which we both did not fit into, and fully embrace the way things are meant to be, with gender roles defined as what they truly are and not what the PC feminazis are turning this country into. I was looking for a way to email you, though, as I would love your advice.
Hello and thanks for reading. Relationships are much happier when you put aside all the crap society tries to feed you.
Men and women have two separate but equal roles in a relationship.
The man’s job is to provide protection and security, and to lead.
The woman’s job is to provide nurturing, comfort and to help the man achieve his goal/mission. This only applies if the man has a mission that will be mutually beneficial to both parties. If the man is a stoner who lives on his mom’s couch and thinks he’s gonna make it big as a guitar player one day, discard what I just said and run like Hell.
No woman should subject herself to a relationship with a man without a mission. A man without a mission is like a sports car without an engine. All looks, no power.
If your man has a mission that will get you both to where you need to be in life, be supportive and nurturing. Make sure he is taken care of and don’t be a bitch. If he doesn’t have a mission he is actively working towards, find a better man.
You can email me at info@illusionofsanity.com
‘How was your day, Doc?’
“My pet sugar glider ate its mate’s face off, and I’m actually really happy about it.”
‘Oh. Would you like a puppy?’
“Yes, please.”
“Whews a cute widdle puppy-dog!”
Only at Illusion of Sanity, folks.
My site is aptly named.
This is why I needed a divorce. Was headed down the path toward homicide by facial mutilation.
Ha. I know the feeling. When your woman doesn’t support you or tries to control you, it’s complete misery. Yet for some reason, men are expected to put up with it. Never understood that.
Gotta man up!
Hah! Now you’re using substitute words!
What an adorable pets you’ve got. I like having sugar gliders at home and a dog.